Friday, June 29, 2007 Hello hello! I know it has been long since i last blogged.Anyway many things happened during the period of my absence and i am proud to present u my mid year grades... Maths-94-up from 60 last term Science-78-up from 65 last term Geography-74-down from 81 last term:( History-71-up from 48 last term The rest are too lousy to say... The most surprising among these grades was my history.I mean i have been screwing up history since last year and now i get 71 when the mean score is 54.67%.Maybe taiko only lah. So anyway i have like used up 3/4 of my holiday in jiang tuition centre(weekdays 11.10-1.10pm) and the whole bloody holiday on judo(every tuesday,thursday and saturday 4.30-6.30pm). And Judo camp is sibeh fun,only if u know how to slack.*Takes up Judo camp survival book* Day 1-Day of infamy I arrived in CJC lugging along my barang barang up the judo block looking like a tourist that had just returned from bangladesh.Then i saw the sec 1s.Wah lau eh.The feeling was classic,first i had to spent 3 bloody days of my life to slave under the barbaric and sadistic hands of Justinian and Friends.And the first person i saw was not some CJC chio bu(actually CJC judo got no chio bu(s) at all) and instead was Qing Ke.Then was i inclined my head more from the staircase,what i saw still traumatises me till this very moment and possibly for the rest of my life.I saw an ogre helping a gorilla wear his pants.If you think i was watching a cross between shrek 3 and planet of the apes,your wrong.I saw Justinian helping dear little shawn mak wear his tights. "Awww."I could hear some CJ girls thinking about shawn mak being cute but having "he who must not be named" to help him wear his tights is just so wrong.So Justinian brought everybody into the dojo like how a shepherd herds his sheep to the slaughter house(i mean it literally). Then he counted the money and winnie yap went and assigned jobs to caleb and company. Looking up ,Justinian muttered "let the games begin" and ordered everybody to go to the track. Then Justinian made us run 4 laps of the CJ track.And he ran with us,thinking that it would boost our morale.But it didnt,it just made us laugh at him.After the second lap,Justinian Buay ta han liao and dropped out.Then after running 4 laps,justinian made us sprint like 400m+++ and after that he done the most inhumane thing ever known to humanity and only comparable to the genocide commited by Hitler-He made us to moving push ups on the bloody hot cement floor.Anyway i did like 2 laps before i received my first injury and my ticket from hell from the moving push ups-a 5 by 7 long blister on my right palm.So i started making the commotion that what an American soldier would do when his groin was shot by german machine gun fire in all those old war films.Then Jason let me off and asked my to sit in a corner while he wrapped up everything so i only slacked for 5 mins.How not worth it!!!So after that dinner was served and it was like shit.And nobody was hungry but everyone was damn thirsty.So i tar pow-ed my dinner and went to the classrooms to slack and play tai tee. Day 2-The Longest Day Woke up at 5am for PT and reported injured to justinian.So i just slacked around until PT was over before proceeding to the canteen for breakfast.I tell u,the bee hoon was sibeh gross sia.I hate bee hoon and justinian serves up bee hoon for breakfast,how any worse can life get?The bee hoon is so bloody oily that when i finished my meal,the oil left on the plate can deep fry like 10 large fries from Burger King.And the egg was so oily that i can sqeeze the egg and the amount of oil that is secreted is enough to lubricate the wheels of 10 limos.Then justinian made an announcement. He looked at the crowded,in his eyes lit a blue fire of defiance.He raised his voice "Judokas!Enjoy your breakfast!For tonight,we dine in hell!" And instead of receiving a round applause,the crowd just walked away,leaving justinian to the bitter lonliness of the cj canteen. Maybe Justinian had watched too many greek vs persian army movies liao. After that i proceeded to jiang for tuition and for freedom and then came back to judo.When i came back,i had the shock of my life!The whole SJI judo club is injured!Even those enthu kias all got their ankles or elbows sprain.Then i remembered Justinian's in camp rule:"If less that 7 ppl turn up for training,the whole club is going to get it!" All my fellow judokas pleaded with me to go but i showed them my blister.However it was not enough to escape training.Therefore for the sake of the prestige of sji judo,i obliged.A make shifted armada consisting of weley(captain),Kenneth(Vice Captain),Yihan(2nd in charge),shi yang(judo retard),Muhaimin(aka muhaimen-dog or the DJ),Martin(the traitor) and me(aka love guru and the bartender) went to the judo block to be sacrifaced to appease to insanity of justinian and company. Big mistake.HUGE! Anyway he made us throw and get thrown 150 times which is insane and i returned to the classroom making the amount of noise that only Gollum eating too much balachan chilli will create. Then i vowed never to put my life on the line again and retired to bed.Anyway i heard from the 49th division that they had to do 20 laps of butterfly for night training.I dont know whether i should laugh at them or comfort them,but in the end i still laughed at them as i told them not to go for night training.See lah.Serves them right siah! Day 3-The day of days Morning the seniors went for cip and it was the best cip i ever had.Early in the morning we went to take 105 to toa payoh and that failure nerd wannabe caleb said he know which bus stop to alight from as e\he was familiar with the place.So Justinian told us that we have to get the tins from a bunch of people standing in front of the nlb library.So we took the bus then i saw the library and i told caleb to get off but he dont want and he instead told me to get off the bus.So we went 1 stop overshot and caleb said it was my fault for not telling him.So i told him to go and squeeze his own balls and screw off.Anyway i saw this girl from church(also from con2) clad in the IJTP uniform.What can i say,singapore is such a small and pathetic place so ppl r bound to meet.So we collected the tins and formed 3 teams-(Gabriel,shi yang and me),(Brian chin and Martin),(Caleb,Yihan and Jeston).As everybody hated shi yang so i decided to pang seh him and make him get lost.And i knew one place that was crowded enough for the operation to succeed-Bugis.So gabriel,shi yang and me went to bugis while the others went of to the usual places like City Hall or Orchard.So Gabriel and i brought shi yang through bugis street and to the Kuan Yin temple at bugisand told him to collect there and told him that we will be stationed 400m from each other so that we wont ks each other.And that loser really believed me.What can i say,with a honest face and a convincing tone,i am sure that many others would too be convinced.So while shi yang retardlly collected money and ks-ed that ppl selling flowers(They were staring at him with a sibeh too lan look),we went far far away to the double bus stop opposite the burger king.After 15 minutes of collecting,shi yang finally made his maiden distress call. "Aloysius,where are u?I want to go back liao,no more customers." "Er...i am in the toilet now in the Bencoolen,u come and find me there lah." By the way,the bencoolen is a series of twisting and turning passageways. So anyway i used many other trick to make shi yang walk from the temple back to the mrt station and then to the fu lu shou complex and to OG(where he fell down,lol!) and across the road to Sim Lim square and up to the 5th floor and back to basement 1. Then Martin called and told us that he and brian chin wanted to rendevous with us so i told him meet at burger king.So as we walked to the traffic lights,we saw shi yang with martin and brian chin. So we decided to give up as i am very sure shi yang will not let his eye off martin and chin fei.So we went and say hi to then shi yang began telling me his tragic story.Martin told me that he the first thing shi yang told them when he saw them was:"I am going to kill Aloysius man.He make me go to the mrt station then to the temple then to og and make me go up and down sim lim square until i sprained my ankle.He better not come for training tomorrow,i am going to kill him man!" hahaha,when martin told me that i was like LOL!So we eat lunch at MacDonald's and returned to camp for the last training And after that we slacked till the end of training. What a happy ending!!! Then there was the con2 camp... Post the details another day... Anyway i saw the ndp song on the tv and found that it was quite unrealistic and therefore decided to modify it to suit the typical singaporean better.You can compare it with the original ndp song and btw this song is originally made by me. The hardcore kopi-o fanatic by the Love Guru I've walked the lively lorongs of Geylang. I've climbed the cemeteries of Chua Chu Kang. I've searched marina bay In one short stupid day It rained the day i went searching,its so sway. Seen the HDB Hub in Toa Payoh Have touched the tomato of Ang Mo Kio I've drove through Tampines And the lanes of Pasir Ris But i cant forget the smell of kopi-o. Theres no place like Leng Kee They serve the best kopi And even though,i've drank starbucks They all still cant beat Leng Kee They have tasty bak chor mee And nice nasi baryani I would walk from Jurong to Changi Just to drink some good kopi Cos there is no place like Leng Kee Road! Nice right? lol Quite late le Better slp liaoz Good night all! LOST at 5:03 PM